I’m sorry I couldn’t be better. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the perfect daughter you wanted. Instead you get this good-for-nothing tranny that can’t seem to do anything right. Sometimes I wonder if you’d be better off with me dead. I’m sorry mom and dad.

I’m not as strong as people may think I am. I break down over small things. I can’t stand up for myself. I wish I could. I wish I was different. If I was anybody else, then maybe it would be possible to finally be happy. But it’s a pointless endeavor that I dedicate my life to. Focused on making other people happy to the point that I would change everything about myself. Go back into the closet and become the happy little girl they once lost. I still feel guilty for taking her away from them. The moment I became was the moment their girl died. Their precious child. They constantly doubt my existence and still cling on to her name like it would push me away and bring her back again. I wish I could become her again, but it’s pointless. What’s done is done. All I could do is pretend to be her. But I’d never truly be happy, not like that.

I can’t tell any adult that I cut myself. If I do, they’d rather send me to a mental hospital than try to actually help me.

I hate how I have a hard time expressing myself with words, like speaking. I can't find a way to put what I'm thinking into actual words. I can write them down like on a google doc but I can't tell anyone that that's how I can talk better.

I’m attracted to this boy in my class named Elliott. The problem is that I’m obsessed over him, even if I don’t act like I am, my mind always wants him to be with me and away from everyone else. I hate this. I don’t even really know him. Even if I got to know him, he probably wouldn’t even like me how I like him. For one, He’s probably straight and we’re both boys. Two, He doesn’t really accept trans people. What I’m trying to say is that I hate the fact that I’m obsessive. I hate the fact that I want to isolate him to where I’m the only one who can be around him. I hate it all. I now realize that this entire time I've just been looking for attention. I don't know why. Is it because of the lack of attention my parents gave me? or is it just because I'm selfish and want everything to be about me? I hate this.

I can't trust anyone anymore. For example, I once had a friend who was kind to me during a hard time. they reassured me about everything and helped me feel better. A few days or hours after they did that, I commented on something saying a pet was in a better place now based on what the person who had owned the pet was like. After I did that they messaged me yelling at me. Calling me hypocritical, getting mad at me saying it's not ok to call me a name I was uncomfortable with random people calling me, acting as if I hated on someone for their beliefs, saying I'm as bad as the people who were harassing and bullying me, calling me cruel, and more

I have a feeling I have multiple disorders. BPD, all symptoms except 2. Autism, all symptoms except 9. Anxiety, all symptoms except 6. Bipolar, all symptoms except 5. Social communication disorder, all symptoms except 4. Dyslexia, all symptoms except 3. Body dysmorphic disorder, all symptoms except 7.

I think I have BPD, I have all the symptoms but 2, and I don't know how to ask my parents for a diagnosis. I attempted to ask my dad for a therapist but I got school so I'm unsure if I should try at a diagnosis or if I'm just going to get a similar response.

Everything in my life sucks. First with my parents not accepting me, then finding out I might have countless disorders, now taking on the personalities of people fictional or not.

I always remember when I used to write little stories that were on my mind. They are always so deep in detail and always end with death or someone getting hurt beyond repair, Emotionally or physically. I always ask "Who hurt you?" then remember the reason those stories exist is because of my parents. They were the ones who made me have trust issues, they were the ones who made me second-think being here right now.

I want someone I can talk to but I don't want anyone to waste their time on me. I feel like I'm just a waste of space here. It would be better if I would just stop talking but I can't since that's an automatic response with me. I can't even ignore someone for more than 30 seconds because of that.

I hate how my parents don't listen to me when I tell them I might have something. Like, I might have BPD and Autism but no, they think it's just my lack of socialization. I can't even ask them if I can get a diagnosis because I don't even know what I would say. It's easier for me to jot down my thoughts and give them that but they will want me to talk in person and I can't do that.

The only thing that makes me happy now is music. It serves as my escape from reality and I always hate it so much when someone comes and interrupts it. I always have an uneasy feeling that I can't describe when someone interrupts me while listening to music.

I hate how I feel like everyone is going to abandon me. In response to that, I do every little thing they say or ask just in fear of abandonment. If it's something I don't want to do but they ask me to, I'll do it just in hopes they won't abandon me.

I think I might be a people pleaser. If my friends ask me to do something or demand me to do something I will say yes every time just because I fear that they will abandon me if I don't.